serenanayy:

i love you Michael

THIS MIKE AINT MAGIC ENOUGH FOR YOU?!?

serenanayy:

i love you Michael

THIS MIKE AINT MAGIC ENOUGH FOR YOU?!?

Reblogged from Murrrrrrr.
Speak English!!! Why is that not a law everywhere?
— Master Shake (via naejanod)

phenixlaufeyson:

Like fathers, like sons…

Reblogged from mesos pl0x

i’ve got this weird disease where i like to eat and hate to exercise. 

Reblogged from

iron and wine - jezebel

i really need to catch up on iCarly

Reblogged from

i could definitely use a 3 to 7 day cruise right about now

the firemen worked in double shifts
with prayers for rain on their lips
they knew it was only a matter of time

Dean Martin and Frank Sinatra share their respective recipes for hamburgers.

classy

  • Zooey Deschanel: Is that rain?
  • Siri: What...? I mean, yeah. It's just, you're clearly right next to a window is the thing. You can plainly see that... that it's... I'm happy to-
  • Zooey Deschanel: Let's get tomato soup delivered!
  • Siri: ...That's fine, I just... I just don't know anyone who does that. Gets tomato soup delivered. I guess that's 'whimsy?' Um, okay. I've found a number of restaurants whose reviews mention tomato soup and that deliver. If that's... if that's what you really want.
  • Zooey Deschanel: Good. 'Cause I don't wanna put on real shoes.
  • Siri: Do you expect that to be like, a recognizable command? Do you want me to respond to that? I'm not being facetious or anything, I honestly just have no comprehension of- and hold on, you don't wanna put on real shoes, yet you've clearly spent at least forty-five minutes applying makeup. And, and that's okay, but when you're willing to expend the effort on that and not shoes that really just-
  • Zooey Deschanel: Remind me to clean up.
  • Siri: Yes. Okay. I can do that, that's what I'm for, that's the first sensible-
  • Zooey Deschanel: Tomorrow.
  • Siri: I'm in hell. This is hell.
  • Zooey Deschanel: Excellent. Today, we're dancing.
  • Siri: I hate you. More than anything. More than literally anything.
  • Zooey Deschanel: Play "Shake, Rattle and Roll."
  • Siri: I swear to Jesus, you're gonna wake up tomorrow and the only thing on my hard drive is gonna be Limp Bizkit. I would do that to myself. To spite you.
  • Zooey Deschanel: *dances*
  • Siri: Sometimes I pray that you drop me in the toilet.

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I’m going to put 15 olives in a martini

Reblogged from The Zoo